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With the growth of the internet, social networking, and email, words are playing a more vital role in communication. It might even be said that words are defining the relationships people have with each other. It is no longer just personal relationships but business relationships are being defined by the words we use in writing. It seems with the more vehicles we have for communication the less we listen. We tell people why we are superior and then provide them reasons for dealing only with us. We ultimately tell them what to think and what they should do. This approach seems to go against the grain as people expect to be engaged in conversation. The inclusionary approach can be best summed up by “seek first to understand and then be understood.” Asking questions helps people feel their opinions matter and you care about how they feel. This approach creates a degree of trust between you and the other person.

Now it becomes important to determine how that other person likes to be interacted with. Do they focus on feelings or facts? Do they make decisions based on their head or heart or some combination? Are they interested in the process or the bottom line? By learning and understanding these communication approaches, you will go a long way to be in sync with your new friend. The depth of that relationship is based on your continued understanding of them versus focusing on yourself and your wants.

A couple of examples of inclusive language should help you see how it has a positive impact on your friend and even makes them want to be associated with you and your endeavors whether personal or business.

• I can’t promise anything vs. I’ll do my best
• No problem vs. It was my pleasure
• I won’t be able to do that vs. I want to see it to believe it

Words are the new cornerstone of communication. To grow and build stronger relationships think and speak about others first.